2- and my New Years resolution was to get fit and healthy and I think what’s adding on to my guilt is I’m eating healthy, and I noticed I lost about 5-7 pounds and I want to join a gym with my boyfriend and we haven’t yet and I think that makes it worse, I think my guilt after eating unhealthy foods would go away if I had a gym membership and I could just go and work out for an hour and a half but since I haven’t gotten a membership I eat candy and then go to bed and just focus on my body
3- and I look at my thighs and stomach and I just hate feeling like this. I don’t want to stop eating since eating healthy makes me feel good i just don’t want to feel like this just because I eat 3 Hershey kisses
Okay, I can tell you’re releasing a lot of feelings and obsessive thoughts in this post. Take a deep breath. You are not alone in what you are experiencing, and it is understandable that you are feeling concerned about your thoughts and habits.
Obviously, I am not licensed in any fashion, but I have struggled with my ED for a long time and I am currently studying to specialize in psychotherapy for EDs. What you are describing to me sounds very much like ED markers.
Being “terrified” of gaining weight is not healthy. In the non-disordered individual, weight fluctuation is shrugged off and a few pounds gained just means drinking less soda. Living in fear of that number is not typical. Feeling guilty for indulging in ”bad” or “unhealthy” foods is also not indicative of a healthy relationship with good, especially that you mention 3 pieces of chocolate can send you into this sort of self-hating tailspin.
As for the working out: stop right there. An hour and a half at the gym is not healthy, especially if you’re already restricting intake. I know you said you’re not starving, but 1-3 small meals is simply not enough to live, especially not with overexercise on top of it. You will put extreme stress on your heart and will experience rapid muscle deterioration. It’s not wise.
The obsession with eating healthy is a more recently labelled form of ED, called orthorexia. Feel free to Wiki it. Even if you are in or over your BMI range, eating so many calories a day, eating “good” food, etc you can still be diagnosed with an eating disorder.
While I always recommend talking to your doctor, oftentimes GPs aren’t versed in EDs and brush it off even when there are huge red flags. I would recommend talking to a school counselor or researching outpatient services in your area.
I hope this helped to normalize as well as validate your feelings and what you are going through right now. As always, you are welcome to come to us for help as well as my personal blog, invincibleironmacchiato.tumblr.com.
Eating disorders are incredibly scary, especially when you come to realize that you may have a problem, and didn’t have the control you thought you had because now you see the ED is controlling you. But you are not alone, and there are so many places and people that can help you through it.
And it dawned on me— if he didn’t appreciate me then, when I was (2/2)an awkward duckling of a girl who was all over him, why should I drop everything for him now? When I’m dating this crazy amazing guy who understands me, and suddenly past-crush guy wants on my dick? how about NO. My point is: if he can’t see you for who you are now, someone who does or will appreciate the fine work of art that is YOU will come along, and then he will be really fuggin sorry. /endrant
Trip you are perf and he is not perf so whatevers to him. You da bomb
I love you sweetie thank you
boys never sisters forever!
aww, he doesn’t know what he’s missing out on
einsteinsmoustache replied to your post “the boy i liked said no ;( quick trip-huddle please :((”
*smothers you in affection* boo to him what does he know
then he doesn’t know shit, you’re great <3 someone better is out there for you
I LOVE YOU TRIP <3
You guys are precisely the best, thank you so much, I feel so poop and felt kind of empty (then ate 2 plates of fries i didnt want) and then felt empty and full at the same time and also dissapointed and a maybe lil bit sad but now you guys are filling me with love and squees.
I LOVE YOU YOU ARE THE BEST <3 I am cries and squishy puddles of feelings and happy and thank you from warming me from ice cream cold too hard to slightly melty puddles of ice cream on warm apple (or cherry) pie <33
I was all
and now i’m all
(from your love)
thank you it really really means a lot to me and majorly picked me out of the dumps
onwards and upwards
Sometimes you don’t like the idea of doing something but once you actually do it, it’s pretty great.
Ugh, that is major suckage. :( Well, honestly if I were you I’d just take a deeeeeep metaphorical breath and metaphorically hold it till the grandparents leave. At least it’s only a week, imagine if it were longer! Or if you lived with them permanently! OR IF YOU STILL LIVED WITH YOUR PARENTS RIGHT ACROSS THE HALL (LIKE ME OMG I HATE IT). You can do this!!
Oops, sorry I didn’t realize this was part 2 to the last one. Either way this is fine for a separate ask.
I’m going to sound like a total douche-hat for telling you this, but so be it. You’re 15!! I don’t know if anyone told you this, but the ages during which you go through puberty (the teenage years for most) largely consist of self-identity awareness, body image awareness and changes, physical changes, hormonal changes, etc. No one really tells you anything about it, they just say “WELP PUBERTY.”
What they are trying to say is that while you are going through the physical stuff, your brain is going to be doing some growing and changing too. This means you will have a lot of confused thoughts, and awareness of different things, as well as an absurd amount of mental as well as physical growing pains. It’s not super fun, but it has to happen, and it’ll help you grow as a human being. You’ll make it through! It’s okay if you’re confused about things. You don’t need to understand everything about yourself. You should know basic facts, and important things, but it’s alright if you’re confused about stuff right now.
You are beautiful if you decide you are beautiful. Period. No further discussion. None. Are you beautiful? You tell me!
All good. Every person on this planet has to go on a bit of a journey to find their sexuality, even heterosexual people. Just gotta work it out, and in the end it doesn’t matter what your preference is. It’s no one’s business but yours.
(2) said and he said no and I got really weird, I told him that technically I was, and that I have pseudoachondroplasia and because I’m under four foot eleven that technically I am a little person. He didn’t really say anything about it, but he didn’t seem weird about it or anything but it just made me feel really weird. I don’t think I look like a little person but I do have characteristics, obviously I’m short, my arms are short and my legs are short but if you googled what I have I don’t look
(3) exactly how they look. This is something I’m still trying up except, when I was about 13 I remember looking in the mirror and I remember the first time I realized I wasn’t like everyone else, since then I feel like I have to come out as a little person, I don’t know if people realize it because I don’t have all the characteristics, just some. And because my boyfriend said that I wasn’t a dwarf it just made me feel weird because I’m afraid one day he’s going to look at me and realize that
(4) I’m not like everyone else. I don’t even know how to talk to him about it, I don’t know if I need to, it’s just really hard to accept that I am what I am. I’m not really asking for advice or anything I just kind of needed to put down all of my thoughts.
It’s all good, sweetie. All good. <3
Writing out your feelings, as well as talking it out with people, is seriously one of the best things you could possibly do when you’re feeling muddled and upset and confused. I strongly urge you to continue doing it, either in a diary or online journal or what have you, because it’s private but lets you funnel all your feelings.
I also think it would be really helpful for you to talk to your boyfriend about this. It sounds to me like they aren’t bothered by what you have- they’re dating you, so we know they have seen you and have been physically more intimate with you than other people have. If they’re still around, then the feelings are real. Promise! Trust the people you love, and who love you. They’re there for you. We are too!
Keep trucking on, because you’re worth it.
Refer to our communication tag for more details but essentially:
If you have a problem with the behaviour of your partner, the way to solve it is to sit down and talk it out. Open by saying you just want them to know how you feel, and that you are neither accusing nor blaming. Tell them what behaviours you dislike, how it makes you feel, how you’d rather feel. Ask him if he can help, offer suggestions for better behaviours, come to a resolution together.
He may be keeping you apart from the girls on purpose, or he may not be. If he is, it could be that he’s being sketchy for real, or it could be that he’s had history with jealous girlfriends that makes him nervous about the whole ordeal and he is not dealing properly. If he is not actually doing this on purpose, then you may be paranoid. There are a number of reasons for his behaviour, and the only way to get to the bottom of it and resolve it is to talk.
It’s pretty typical to, at some point in the relationship, lose the fireworks and butterflies thing. It’s normally called the end of the honeymoon phase, basically meaning that you’re no longer infatuated/twitterpated with each other.
I, personally, find that my relationships go through spells of both. I was madly in love with my SO for the first 4 months, then fell out for 3 months, and I’m entering another madly in love phase. You’re right in thinking that those things are important— I’m no expert, but they really probably are.
I can’t really make the decision for you, obviously, but it sounds to me like you have a pretty good thing going. You can maybe try resparking some of that passion, by going on “dates” and sort of going back to courting each other a little. Maybe try that.
HELL YEAH! I am a glorious only child and also a
loser w/ no friends Scottish widow hermit, HELL YEAH I’LL TAKE A BUNCH OF CUTE SISTERS (and some brothers maybe and some non binary ladies too!)
I’m glad u love us! We also love you! And I’m sorry if we’re every grouchy to you babes! <3
Don’t be sorry, it makes me feel really wonderful to help others with something I’ve struggled with for so long. Your experience with being unable to recover alone is very typical; it’s nigh-impossible to do without proper support.
I personally got help through my university, starting with seeing a counselor who then recommended me to a dietician, etc. I had to call a bunch of people to see who my insurance would and wouldn’t cover, but I know Canada health insurance works a lot differently. You may try Googling a few outpatient centers and even support groups in your area (those are usually free, and you can get referrals from there).
See a ‘tologist! There is literally no harm in going and it might really help you! If you’re in the UK/ somewhere with free health care, go to your doctor first as they can probably refer you instead of you paying out £££ or might even have suggestions (i.e birthcontrol or a steriod based cream!)