For future reference.
For those who would ever need it. -C
reblogging here because i can see this being relevant to anyone who’s ever tried to get out of an abusive relationship
Reblogging because that last comment made me reread the whole thing in a new light and realize this could be vital information. So, putting it out there for everyone, and hoping no one ever really needs it.
found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom
(cont2) but recently the sadness has started creeping back in. i feel guilty again, why am i so sad when i have so many great things. i feel like i’ve let my parents down. i don’t want to tell them because i don’t want them to worry. but it’s coming back and it scares me because i don’t know what’s going to fix it. like no matter how many blankets i wrap round myself i will always be cold. it’s scaring me and i just want a big big hug
You’re okay, sweeetheart.
People with cancer don’t get cancer cause they’re bad people, they get cancer cause cancer happens. Similarly, people don’t get depression or other mental health problems because they’re bad people, or because they deserve it. It’s an illness, and you have it, and that’s just how it is unfortunately. :(
Therapy may be weird and tough, but I really believe that if you keep at it, things will get better. Even when it seems things are better (and they probably are), you still need to keep at it. Dealing with mental illness is a process of fighting and fighting and fighting- fighting to heal, fighting to live your life, fighting to be happy - but you can do it. It’s not impossible, I promise. It’ll be hard, it’ll suck balls and it’ll be painful and sad and terrible, but there is always a way to get back up and truck on, I promise. Keep going to therapy, get some medication, and fightfightfight. We’re all cheering for you, okay? <3
In the meantime, tell people. Tell your friends, tell your family, tell other counsellors and doctors, join a forum online or a group in real life. You need support, and people are there waiting to give it to you. You don’t have to do this alone, and remember that other people are going through fights with mental illness just like you. They’re fighting and fighting, and some of them aren’t doing so well, like you’re feeling. There’s a huge community out there that can help you, and your friends and family are there to support you and love you. Let them!
Sending you all our love,
(2) four years ago I was so in love with him that I was practically writing my wedding wovs. Anyway, the night goes on. I’m talking to some friends. And suddenly I find out that he and I will dance. So we do. After he’s asking me about something (memory is a little fuzzy here), and I answer with “are you coming home with me tonight?” Ugh. No. He wasn’t. Since he’d just broken up with his girlfriend, and felt that it wasn’t such a good idea right now. And I tell him in my most seductive tone that
(3) I really wanted him. Right now. He keeps promising me that me and him, it will become a thing. “One day, it will be you and I, just not today”, and stuff like that. We’re working at the same museum this summer, and there’s still two more weeks, so plenty of time. Besides, he’s moving to my hometown, and staying there for two years – plenty of time. And I was like. WTF. Why not now? Obviously because of his anxiety for me getting feelings for him, right? My friend thinks that it’s the other
(4) way around. That he’s angsty about him getting feelings for me. And I’m like… okaaay? Or he could still be pissed out about June, which was a horrible idea, now that I see it in retrospect. Later that same night another friend of mine, who I’ve been starting to get a bit of a dislike on me came to talk to me. And her words were as follows: “You’ll not get him tonight, you know. You’ll probably never get him.” And I was like wtf. WHY DO I HAVE TOXIC FRIENDS? She then proceeded to tell me that
(5) to tell me that I should fuck the other guy that’s been onto me all night, because I’m single, and she’s not. And I told her that I don’t have sex with guys I’ve never talked to before. I should just forget that, just for one night, and just do it. And I was like. What the fuck are you doing in my life. Ugh. So the questions: 1) How should I now proceed with the guy? Because I know he wants me, he and I will always want each other, but I’m terrified that there will always be excuses. And 2)
(6) And 2) How do I get rid of a toxic friend, who is friends with all my other friends? Ugh. // Sorry about the long post, but you lot are the best people I know for answering these questions, and you’re always so understanding about my angsty life. I love this site and you moderators sososososo much!
Okay, six-parter. Wowie zowie. I don’t want to be a dick, but please don’t send 6-parters. It discourages us from answering quickly, and often it’s just too much info for what advice you need. That being said, answer under the cut.
I felt bad for your worry, so I used my woman’s blog mod powers to punch your uterus on the ethereal plane so it would hurry up and start spitting blood.
Why don’t you take, I don’t know, some kind of widely available hormone litmus test that can cost as little as $1 and takes less than 5 minutes to do and get an accurate reading?
Oh yeah, that’s a pregnancy test.
Wow. That zipped that right up. Case closed, court adjourned, bring out the dancing lobsters.
If cramps are getting progressively worse, you may want to talk to your doctor, especially if they are becoming severe enough to interfere with your daily activities.
First of all, I feel it’s most important to address that your cousin is FULL OF SHIT, and she should not SHARE THAT KIND OF FUCKING FALSE INFORMATION because it’s going to HURT SOMEONE. There’s no such thing as taking a month off of birth control. It doesn’t change a goddamn thing.
And you’re doctor’s right, it’s normal. (Wow, it’s almost like they went to school for like 8 years for this or something). And the medication isn’t bad for you. Did your nurse cousin also share this with you? It’s just a simple anti-fungal and as long as you use it exactly as instructed and ALWAYS finish the dose, it’s harmless.
p.s. seriously, tell your cousin a girl on the internet told her to go fuck herself. she’s a fucking nurse, she should fucking know better.
Skin discoloration, I believe, is just from being repeatedly exposed to friction and pressure.
It means the cup is too big and/or the band is too small. Maybe try keeping the D cup but going up a band size.
Thanks, boo! It really just comes from experience. And a psychology undergrad with clinical training. But really, experience.
I’m going to sound like a really boring and totally unempathetic adult here who just came out of the womb 20 years old and never experienced true adolescence, much like how you probably feel about your parents (but they were born 40), but: it’s a phase. I swear to God. Something about teenagers and noncomformity. They think they’re absolutely invincible, and they want to create this very “cool” identity that is nothing like them. This identity also often includes risky behavior.
Honestly, all you can do for now is keep being her friend. You don’t have to support her habits— in fact, it’s best if you don’t— but don’t give her the lectures and the scorn. Just change the subject and ignore it. If you really have to talk about it, just tell her you really care about her. Don’t tell her that it’s bad, don’t tell her that it’s going to get worse, don’t tell her that you’re worried about her; just that you care. All the aforementioned things tend to kind of put people on the defense. Make sure she understands that you’re still on her side, but you’re not going to encourage or engage in her behaviors.
Of course, if there comes a point when she is in danger, you should tell her parents. This would be: drinking to black out, especially in dangerous situations with people that aren’t necessarily going to look out for her. Hard drugs; I’m talking prescription pills, cocaine, heroin, whatever the fuck weird Tylenol mixtures kids are doing these days (I’m out of high school, I have no idea what teenagers do to get high anymore). I’m gonna go ahead and put salvia on that list too, because if someone actually willingly does salvia more than maybe 3 or 4 times, there’s probably an issue (it’s horrible). Unprotected sex, risky behaviors such as driving under the influence, etc etc. I think you get the idea. In those circumstances, tell her parents or a school counselor. Honestly, if they can’t curb her behavior, I don’t think calling the police when you know she’s doing something illegal would be completely wrong. In the end, it’s what will help her to get help (especially with drugs).
Squirting in porn is actually pretty unrealistic. With most women, it’s more like a gushing sort of thing. Not so much a stream as it is like a little vagina waterfall.
Your bra wire shouldn’t be in your armpit! A well fitting wire will stop just past the root of your breast.
To get rid of them, honestly, I would recommend changing bras, maybe even sticking to sports or wireless bras for a while. They sound like bruises.
Yo, I too have bumps on my butt. They’re not ingrown hairs, I genuinely think they’re a type of acne. Mine cleared up a lot once I started using anti-acne body wash, so you may try that.